the evolution of pickles.

So first we start out with the single celled pickle, but then over many many years of evolution that pickle evolved into what we scientists call a multi-many-much-celled-pickle. This pickle slowly evolved and competed for resources in a large pickle and dill filled ecosystem.

This is where our story begins.

Here we find the prehistoric pickle-icarus. Pickle-icarus is the apex predator of its ecosystem. 

(note it’s large teeth and front facing eyes. Paired with its long fins perfect for swimming, the pickle-icarus was truly quite a threat.)

Watch here, we can see as the pickle-icarus spots its prey… the humble pickelvore.

The pickle-icarus readies itself to strike…..the picklevore, due to it’s incredulous stupidity, has not yet noticed that the pickle-icarus is 2 inches from it’s face.

The pickle-icarus waits for the opportunity to strike. It takes in the water through its nostrils which convert it to oxygen. This is the prehistoric version of modern day gills. The pickle-icarus continues to watch and breath into the picklevores face. The picklevore blinks and forgets to open up it’s eyes. This is due to it’s incredible stupidity. The pickle-icarus strikes.

The picklevore screams for it’s mommy as the pickle-icarus lunges. It’s strong jaws clamp around the picklevore and quickly ensure it’s immediate death. 

The humble picklevore is no more.

Over time, the pickle-icarus grows legs and lungs and an intense interest in gardening, the pickle-icarus learns to walk on land. 

Now it has become what scientists call the “protopickle.”

The protopickle, as seen above, soon takes to abiding in the trees. Look, here’s one now.

This one is covered in large pickle-fleas. Witness as it grooms itself, utilizing it’s pickle fingernails to remove the fleas. The protopickle is very busy.

Over time the pickle becomes dumb and lazy, they decide by unanimous vote to lose their legs and arms and eyes and face and basically anything that was ever interesting.

And that is how we got the modern day pickle.