Hello! Welcome back reader. I do hope you arent reading these out of order. Whats that? Oh! You read them in order and think they are wonderfull? Aw shucks. Then enjoy this peice of garbage as well. (im not being negative i just like calling my creations peices of garbage. Remind me never get married and create children .)
“Always keep your guard up! this isn’t a battle of weaponry, it’s a battle of the mind.”
My sword clanged with his dagger, well it USED to be a dagger. At his command its blade had elongated several feet. Its length was now equal to my own sword.
“ Why can’t i just, blast em with a fireball?”
Suddenly with a swift thrust of his sword he hit the sword from my hands and it clattered to the floor.
“That’s why.” he shrunk the dagger and slid it back into its sheath.
“You have no idea how to use that thing anyway. By the time you managed a fireball i could’ve killed you 6 times over.” he studied me for a second. “7 if you include that time you saw that bird.”
“IT WAS PRETTY!” i objected. He smiled a little bit. Huzzah, he is not as emotionless as a pile of dirt. I picked up my sword.
“I don’t think this sword stuff is cut out for me. I just don’t see the point.” (bad pun, sorry.)
“… you did alright kid…” he said softly, as if worried others would hear. He cleared his throat looking up to the left for some reason. “still terrible of course, but… you might improve with time, “ he turned to me.
“Go get some rest. You’ll need it.”
So i did. I slept in a bed, for all da peeps who were wondering. Man it was comfy.
Morning eventually crept in. Ryan Slept in for hours, so eventually I just gave up waiting and got some fresh air, the fiery sun hung low in the sky, only barely beginning to rise.
An abrupt scream echoed through a nearby alley; It sounded like a woman being mugged.
I did a fist pump.
Ok, im offended by people mugging women as much as the next guy, but this is my perfect opportunity to prove myself, same thing happened with all the other bigshot heroes, spiderman, superman, Shazam, all of em.
I ran around the corner, tried to draw my sword and just about ripped my pants off. I finally fumbled to take it out.
“Hey! Get your hands off of-”
Would it surprise you if I said I didn’t see a normal non-magical everyday thief? No. of course it wouldn’t, that would be too easy. Instead what stood before me was a massive reptile easily longer than 2 school buses, it’s long serpentlike body was thick as a monster truck tire and covered with gleaming scales the size of frying pans. But the worst part by far were its eyes, when I looked at them I felt like they were sucking the will to live from my body. i might as well be dead.
I stared at the sword in my hands, it hummed and crackled with a familiar glow. Then I remembered why the hell i was using this thing in the first place. The beasts glowing red eyes pierced into me as if reading my soul. The dragon studied me probably wondering why it’s snack was trying to defend its other snacks. With incredible speed it lunged, claws and teeth blurred before my eyes and everything went dark.
“Oh my gosh im dead im dead im dead im dead!” I thought. Wait… no i wasn’t . I slowly opened my eyes, the dragon hissed and clawed at its face which was now in flames. Fire blazed along the blade of my sword. It was raised in my hands as if i was come kind of ninja, how i did that,i have no idea.
“Holy shiz i am so awesome” i thought.
“Ha! Noob!” I yelled at the dragon. This was a mistake. The dragon’s tail lashed out like a whip and sent my sword flying into the street, probably giving some morning commuter a heart attack.
“Son of a-” suddenly a massive set of claws tore into my chest and tossed me into the wall like a rag doll. My shirt felt wet… blood. I was tempted to just lay down and die. I looked over at the woman that cowered helplessly, the dragon eyed her with satisfaction and hunger. It edged towards her slowly, at its own leisure.
I had a choice to make, i could just lose, but the woman would die… I would have a painless death… I decided to do the noble thing. I got up and called the dragon a deflated balloon animal. Then i got that same “focused constipation” look, I didn’t have the sword but …it’s hard to explain. I felt that it was still with me, i couldn’t hold it. I couldn’t wield it. But i knew it was mine, like a beacon in the distance giving me hope. I thought about my family… i thought about my sisters smile….about how much it looked like my moms. A tingling feeling shot through my whole body and a massive plume of fire shot out my hands like I’d just detonated a nuclear bomb. The dragon reared onto it’s back legs clawing at the flames as if that would make them go away. Unable to fight it, it threw back it’s head and let out one last deafening roar before collapsing into the cloud of fire. I was about to strike some sort of sick pose, [maybe start performing orange justice?] Instead I promptly collapsed to the floor completely out of energy and probably bleeding to death.
Chris HemsWORTH IT!!! 